Instead... P90X combined with Weight Watchers had me feeling better than I had ever felt, and by March I finally dropped down a size that I hadn't worn since 2001. I looked forward to working out each day and made my plans around workouts. I made no excuses and had no problems putting that DVD in every afternoon. I never thought I would believe "once you start you want to keep doing it" that I had always heard, but it really happened. I got within a pound of my original Weight Watcher's goal, and I started imagining going down another five.
Somewhere during the spring, definitely by May, I completely stopped everything I had been doing. We had a FL beach trip planned for June so I knew I wanted to keep going, but I stopped anyway. I'm sure I had some fantastic excuses. I remember doing a little P90X cramming for 10 days before the trip, (which of course, helped because you just feel better knowing you're doing SOMETHING!) Over the summer & a little into the fall I did some workouts from a new DVD set, The Firm Express. The idea of a 20 minute workout was too tempting to resist. Damn infomercials. They are great short workouts, but every time I did one I felt like I was cheating because I knew P90X was on the shelf in my closet and that THOSE were the videos that had provided me with the results I wanted. (Still, no motivation to get those DVDs back out.) I don't think I ever did one full week of The Firm as suggested in their book. I did, however, like the nutrition plan and I still use some of those meal suggestions.
About the nutrition- Sadly, even though I am still paying for the Weight Watchers membership & there is a ridiculously easy WW app on my iPhone, I have not been to a meeting since last spring and I have only tracked a handful of meals when I have felt the urge to "maybe" start up again.
The new clothes continued to fit through the summer and into the fall. I would only buy something new for fall/winter if that smaller size fit, which it did, despite the few pounds that were creeping in here & there. I was feeling good that I was maintaining and because of this I allowed myself to continue doing nothing. My eating habits weren't terrible. I ate what I wanted when we went out, but at home I could usually maintain a pretty reasonable diet. After recent vacations when I was feeling particularly disgusting I would get on the scale, expecting to see that bigger number, but it still wasn't there! Almost like a game, I continued doing nothing and then sometime during the next month I'd get on the scale again, just to see. Did I need to reach that starting weight from last January to feel motivated to start over again? I don't quite know the answer to that.
What I do know is that it feels like I have been eating non-stop since November! Much like once you start working out you crave it.. once you start eating crap, you just want more of it. I have started craving desserts & junk that I have never cared for (cake, candy.) "I deserve it," because I just did some laundry. WHAT? I never was that way. I do believe in comfort foods for a blah day, but all of the sudden you find you are celebrating with food, consoling with food, and rewarding with food (especially with the kids,) and I'd like to get away from that. I try not to use the "d" word (diet,) and I don't believe in taboo foods. I'm going to eat things that I love and I'm going to eat dessert - just in moderation. By the way, cheese is non-negotiable.
It's been "eat now, figure it out later" for way too long. As of last night I'm just a few pounds from that high starting weight last winter, and I'm done playing the game. I hear that as you get older it becomes more of a challenge keeping the weight off so I don't want to wait any longer to get to it.
Here is a secret I'll share with you. I received some amazing Buckle jeans for Christmas. They are TWO sizes smaller than the ones I currently wear (which are quite a squeeze right now, I must admit.) When I made my Christmas list in November these seemed like the best size to try. The size in stock was just a tiny bit big - in Buckle language that means go smaller! So the smaller size went on my list, just in case anyone was interested. I was shocked to receive them, and sad that they didn't fit perfectly. Even now I can still button them, but breathing, moving, or talking in them, not a chance. I could exchange them for a different size but I don't want to. They are folded in my closet but I think I will hang them up as motivation. Have you ever put a picture of a model or yourself from a skinnier time on the fridge or on a mirror? I have never done that, and I'm not sure it would help me but I'm thinking those super cute jeans just may be a real tangible incentive.I don't look in the mirror and gross myself out (too often.) I'm good with me. I am not consumed with the scale, but I can always "feel" the extra few pounds clinging to my body as soon as I've had a week or two of over-doing it, and that is what bothers me. I have a lot of clothes I've collected through the years (that's a separate blog,) so if my smaller sizes get a little tight it's not a catastrophic event. I pull out something that was too big and I realize, damn, this isn't so big right now. I tell myself I may need to start doing something about it, and eventually, I do. Maybe there is too much comfort having various sizes on-hand, but I also don't want to be down on myself and frantic about what to wear every time something starts to get snug. That's no way to be happy.
So, I have the tools I need to get back to where I want to be, it's just a matter of doing it. I'm ready.
Note: I just deleted "I think" before the "I'm ready." Progress?
Time to work out... Day 1!
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